Mark Twain Quotes

Mark Twain Quotes :

It makes one hope and believes that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, the literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

After a few months’ acquaintance with European ‘coffee’ one’s mind weakens, and his faith with it, and he begins to wonder if the rich beverage of home, with it’s clotted layer of yellow cream on top of it, is not a mere dream after all, and a thing which never existed.

Of all the unchristian beverages that ever passed my lips, Turkish coffee is the worst. The cup is small, it is smeared with grounds; the coffee is black, thick, unsavory of smell, and execrable in taste. The bottom of the cup has a muddy sediment in it half an inch deep. This goes down your throat, and portions of it lodge by the way and produce a tickling aggravation that keeps you barking and coughing for an hour.

Nothing agrees with me. If I drink coffee, it gives me dyspepsia; if I drink wine, it gives me gout; if I go to church, it gives me dysentery.

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

At the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink – under any circumstances.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.

 

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

Jim said that bees won’t sting idiots, but I didn’t believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn’t sting me.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started

It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.

The average American’s simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.

In a good bookroom, you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.

I couldn’t bear to think about it; and yet, somehow, I couldn’t think about nothing else.

There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land (and work) again after a cheerful, careless voyage.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself.

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

I have no liking for novels or stories – none in the world; and so, whenever I read one – which is not oftener than once in two years, and even in these same cases I seldom read beyond the middle of the book – my distaste for the vehicle always taints my judgment of the literature itself, as a matter of course; and also of course makes my verdict valueless. Are you saying “You have written stories yourself.” Quite true: but the fact that an Indian likes to scalp people is no evidence that he likes to be scalped.

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

By reading keep in a state of excited ignorance, like a blind man in a house afire; flounder around, immensely but unintelligently interested; don’t know how I got in and can’t find the way out, but I’m having a booming time all to myself. Don’t know what a Schelgesetzentwurf is, but I keep as excited over it and as worried about it as if it were my own child. I simply live on the Sch.; it is my daily bread. I wouldn’t have the question settled for anything in the world.

The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.

I don’t believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don’t want to. That’s something that you just want to take on trust. It’s a classic … something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.

The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. If the case is otherwise, I beg his pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and call him brother.

All you need is ignorance and confidence and then success is sure.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement. To condense the diffused light of a page of thought into the luminous flash of a single sentence is worthy to rank as a prize composition just by itself…Anybody can have ideas–the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph.

Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.

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